January 2011
Irreversible is a feel-good holiday movie, right?
Right.
2010: A Retrospective
I only got so drunk I made an ass of myself once, which is an accomplishment.
I didn’t do drugs all year except one time I smoked K2 and it was the worst thing I’ve ever decided to do.
I masturbated a whole lot, but not as much as 2008 I think.
It doesn’t really matter because years are just an arbitrary measurement of time.
Here’s to 2011 growing as seamlessly onto...
For the folks actually going out to party/drink...
“Don’t drink and drive - and don’t ride with anybody who does. Tipsy Tow offered by AAA: You Don’t have to be a AAA member, from 6pm-6am on New Years Eve/Day they will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE. Save this number… 1-800-222-4357”
Anonymous asked: I played your short video of you blowing the whistle. My dog went from flat out asleep on the floor to on my knee looking desperately for where the noise came from and sniffing at my laptop. Maybe its a dog whistle?
December 2010
Anonymous asked: I played your short video of you blowing the whistle. My dog went from flat out asleep on the floor to on my knee looking desperately for where the noise came from and sniffing at my laptop. Maybe its a dog whistle?
I blew my rape whistle mid-discussion with my...
Him: What the fuck was that??
Me: Oh, haha, my mom gave me a rape whistle necklace for Christmas.
Him: Well... don't get raped around me because I'm just going to get confused.
I do not care for sequins.
alittlebitoff:
-sharki:
well screw you sequin hater.
>:{<
Excuse me.
Frightened by the bite though it’s no harsher than the bark.
Checking Tumblr on break at work is dangerous. All...
The world depresses me.
How is it even possible for someone in my position to fend for herself and be self-sufficient?
I work full-time, at a job that pays more money than most jobs in this area. I live in a cheap apartment. I don’t spend money frivolously and I drive a fuel-efficient car. I only spend money on necessities. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink (often), maybe once a month I buy a new shirt or...
Oh God I'm so poor.
So poor. AHHH. I HATE MONEY.
Anonymous asked: what clothes size are you?
Anonymous asked: what clothes size are you?
1 tag
Ooh, girl--
I’m gonna look so slutty and punky and awesome for work tomorrow.
SNIPPETS
My mother, as soon as I walked in the house last night: “Do you know what a shart is? HEEHEHEEHEHEHE”
My dad, three seconds ago, while my brother was STILL AT THE STORE: “Are you at the store with Graham?”
1 tag
WatchMerrr y Christms to all and to all a good night!
It's cool though
Because no three people in my family can stand to be in the same room so I’m going to NEED to be drunk to deal with a family gathering. Man, dinner is going to be awesome, I hope my sister tries to strangle me again.
My mom and I
Are drinking champagne and trying (emphasis on trying) to complete a 500 piece puzzle.
It’s not going to happen.
Y’know, the high rate of alcoholism in my family is pretty much negated by the fact that any time I go home I get drunk for free. I mean, for me anyway.
Heigh, ho Maryland!
Go find another lover.
1 tag
WatchHi, hello, I’m awkward.
nunnoyobizznizz-deactivated2011 asked: Have you gotten used to your hair yet?
nunnoyobizznizz-deactivated2011 asked: Have you gotten used to your hair yet?
1 tag
Now I'm going to have a bad day
I'm delicate
Kind of, I mean not really but like
I think I’ve spoken on here before about how I can’t stand real life gore. I love gory movies, I think they’re hilarious, but I can’t watch videos of actual violence and I can’t look at faces of death websites and I just… I can’t.
It deeply and legitimately disturbs me.
I find myself unable to function for the rest...
lexi
blackpaper:
